A farmer, who's last thoughts were him wanting to work with his dog. Perhaps not what his wife wanted to hear, but it was him. He will build a new farm somewhere with his dogs, he won't be long away. There will be a good farmer born soon, and he'll find a wife that takes the rain with her. With luck he will wait for the love of his life...I think he will, not matter how long that takes.

At about half past eight yesterday morning Elaine Hodgkinson passed on, peacefully, in her sleep. Having fought thirty eight years she was eventually taken from us. A brighter and more determined person has never been my pleasure to meet, let alone to call kin.

She will always be part of my kin, even if she only joined to us by marriage, she will be remembered by me as the wonderful person she was. Funny, strong and...well Elaine.

Some day I hope we will meet again in a different place, she was a one off, not one in a million, or billion.

Rest now, for a little until you return, the world needs your kind...and you won't stay out of it for long, I think I can be sure of that!

Looks like my sister in law seems to have leucomia..well it has not been confirmed yet.

May she rest.

A good friends mother.

Right I figure that she who will not be mentioned has picked up the hint. You have to understand that this has not been easy and ending a fifteen year old friendship but what I want would never be. But I really wish I could figure out a way to make it work, but I can't. I wished for more and if honest still do, but I have to face reality. It is never going to happen.

So I have been hiding in the bottom of a bottle for too long so I have to climb out. I will take the kick in the knackers and move on. Tis life after all and it's not the first, or last time I fear.

But ha ho, tis life.

Elaine is OK, so I have been told, it might be for the best as they might figure out what is wrong with her eating (or lack there of habits).

Why the hell did my brother fall for someone with such problems, he will be a young widower...I just hope not too young one.

Right emo mode off!!!

EDIT: Please throw a spell, prayer or anything me bros way, he needs it..I have spoke to him.

I am not being emo, me sister in law has been lifted by air ambulance to Newcastle. They are the spare parts expert for the north of the UK in replacing things

All whines are off till I know all is OK!!!!

Air ambulance= bad.

Right I've been behaving a little odd lately, weird facebook statuses, etc. Well I s'pose I had best come clean.

I have been in two unhealthy relationships (goddess I hate that word, you have a relationship with a business partner not a person,when did our language get so impersonal?).

One with Susan, a nice lass but very much not for me. Unfortunately she has a crush that she is very bad at hiding on me and for both our good I have cut my ties. Yip I'm being a bastard but I can't see any other way that is not more long term harmful. She has no chance so why let her go on believing there is a chance? It is the time of year to clean things up after all.

The second is more complex, this one is with El. I have long had a serious interest in her, but it has been unrequited and she refuses to believe I am serious. Every time she went out with someone else or fucked around it took a little out of me. When she was in trouble I have always helped her out, not due to any ulterior motive, just because...well you know I'm me, I'll help any of my friends if they're in trouble as I would hope they would me. How ever I have looked at the situation logically and can not see it being anything other than unhealthy for my self. So I have terminated my relationship with her.

So I'm a bastard, feel free to defriend, burn effigies of me or what ever. But I can see no clean way out of either of these situations other than to cut ties and move on.

Anyway enough emo shit.

Who's for getting shit faced on Saturday?
Oh yeah my new toy is an Acer one, nice wee netbook with a usable keyboard (linux natch) and I do plan to put ubuntu on it

EDIT: I am not blaming anyone else it is wholely my problem and I openly admit it.

I'm working the morn so no piss up D-;, but one on saturday looks good :-D